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A Date Starts Much Earlier Than You Think

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Written by Marie Wilson

Thursday, 27 March 2008

by MarieWilson

Most of us think a date happens when it happens. But if you think of the date as starting much earlier than that when you first meet the girl and start to get to know her, that puts you in a great position to learn more about her long before you have to commit to an actual romantic outing.

Except for those rare dates that you meet the girl the night you pick her up, most of us date girls we more or less already know. And it is during that early flirtation that you can do some spying and find out if an actual date is possible and if it will be all you want it to be when you are alone together.

The act of courtship actually gets underway as soon as you meet a girl. If you handle these early exchanges well, you can lay the groundwork to date her before she even knows it. But you know it in your mind and because of that you give yourself hours of relationship building time. And that investment will come back to you later when you begin to date that adorable girl.

Rarely do you date someone that is not already in a place that both of you already are comfortable. So most of us date girls from school, work or a social group where we have others who can introduce you and help you get to know the girl you have your eye on. Because this kind of setting is not always openly about dating, you can relax and become friends with the gal you are interested in and use that social time to do some important behind the scenes fact finding. Further you can use this time to build rapport so the grounds of a good first date are already in place before you ask her out.

Too often we have a bad first date and most of the time, unless it because of some accident or something, it's because something comes out that you or she didn't expect that dooms the date. So in the relaxed setting before the date, you can ask a few questions (and answer a few) to get those basics out in the open early on. Then you can be more assured that when the date starts, a "date killer" wont surface that can lead to a very long and unpleasant evening.

Square one of finding out more about this princess you want to take out is whether she in your league or even available. If you find out she is married or madly in love with the boss, you can shut down the flirtation train then and there. And although you might be disappointed, you can go home happy you didn't have to go through a rejection when she gave you that news after you put yourself "out there" by asking her for a date.

Making friends with the girl before any romance is even suggested is a terrific way to find out a bit about the girl that could have a huge effect on whether you ask her out at all. Religious differences, cultural divides that would be awkward or political values that might lead to conflict are things you want to flush out well in advance. You can then decide if the date has a good chance of working and make some date agenda decisions that are appropriate to the background and personality of the girl you wish to know better.

This time frame of the date before the date is also a good time to generally get to know the girl and let her get to know you in a relaxed situation. So much of the "chemistry" of that first date can be established during this time of getting to know each other and "feeling each other out". It is a time when you can sense if the attraction is mutual and if you will have grounds for a strong relationship that will lead to not only a great first date but many great dates after that. And if you can get that kind of information gathered before you even ask for that first romantic interlude, you will be well ahead of the game.

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If you are interested in finding more first date questions then head over to MyRomanticDateIdeas.com.

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