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Calling ALL Women! Don't Call Him First!

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Written by Chris Benjamin

Friday, 14 March 2008

by ChrisBenjamin

You are out having the time of your life. You meet a WONDERFUL guy who - so far so good - looks like real relationship material. You give him your number, and he gives you his. And thenthe endless litany begins in your head, "When should I call him? Should I wait for him to call me? What will he think if I don't call?" And on and on and on.

Let me give you some advice, woman to woman. Women do NOT make the first call. Do you want to be the one doing the chasing, or do you want him to chase you? 99% of women want the MAN to do the chasing. So let him. It is natural for the man to be the one doing the chasing in a relationship.

Take a look around you, at nature. Its always the male who does the work to attract the female. They have the colorful plumage or the trilling call - all to attract the female. Men make the call. In other words, reason number one why you do not make the first call is that you certainly do not want to be seen as aggressive or impatient before a relationship has even begun.

Reason number two - we want to see a little effort here ladies, don't we? If he has to do nothing, you are going to begin a pattern of chasing HIM - being the pursuer. You don't want that and frankly, neither does he. You will give him the advantage in the relationship if he knows that you are chasing him and he has to do none of the work.

But there also another side effect to becoming the pursuer. It will completely KILL the chances of attraction growing, for you AND him. Like it or not, dating is a game at first. It's a fun game of chase, cowboys and Indians, cat and mouse, whatever you want to call it. But if you lay down and surrender before the game has even begun, do you think he is going to want to play? No.

The third reason you should let the man call you is to show him that you are sought after. You are not sitting him waiting for his call. You are busy, out there with your friends, not pining away for him like some lovesick little girl. And he will believe that what HE wants, other men want.

And when he DOES finally call? DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. Remember - you are in demand! You are out having fun! Where? He doesn't know. Maybe with another guy. Maybe not. But let his imagination prick his toes for a bit and he will want you more and more. If you can stand it, wait until the next day to call him. If not, at least give it a couple hours.

The fourth and final reason - allowing this to continue for a while - him calling you to ask you out - lets you know 100% that HE is INTERESTED in you. We all know what it feels like to sit there and wonder if he really is into you or not. Well, ladies, if he keeps calling, he IS. If you call though, every time you think about him, you are not going to know if he is chatting just to be nice. That will breed insecurity, then more needy behavior and - you guessed it - snuff the attraction.

So be the woman, and let him be the man. Let him call you. And if he doesn't call? His loss, honey. He was not showing you his true face then anyway, and you don't want that. So go and let him get you girl!

About the Author:

You CAN get dating advice targeted specifically for WOMEN. Check out Dating Tips for Women by Christian Carter, and How to Catch Him and Keep Him