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Getting To Date Number Two

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Written by Pam Baldwin

Tuesday, 06 May 2008

by PamBaldwin

First you have to ask yourself (before you wonder how to get the second date): do I want the second date? If the person seems normal and likeable and you feel you have an emotional connection, the answer is probably "yes." The thing is, if you seemed the same way, the answer would probably also be "yes" if you asked for that second date.

If, on the other hand, you have been set up with this person through one of the numerous dating sites online then this is actually your "second date." On these sites they match people up based on your personalities and allow you to get to know each other in an informal setting. Getting to the second date is very similar in how you get to the first date with the person you met online.

The number one trick to getting to second date is just being yourself. Being calm allows your date to get to know the real you. If you are nervous and stammering that's not the real you and could spoil your chance for a second date. Be self confident is an extremely attractive quality to other people and makes other people want to be around you. Your date should be able to know you as your close friends know you.

Be confident but not so overconfident it puts people off to you. In order to develop that level of confidence you must first succeed in those situations where you must exude that confidence. That's where the problem is. If you aren't successful in those situations then it becomes extremely tough to be confident in them. The best thing to do is fake it until you do develop that confidence. The first few times you try it you may be freaking out in your head but keep your composure and play it off. Keep anything self destructive you might say about yourself to yourself and it will work out much better. After a few successful attempts it will get easier each time.

To actually become likeable you have to be able to embrace all of your flaws and downfalls. If they happen to come out during your date then just laugh them off and move on. Everyone has flaws so you shouldn't be ashamed of yours. Be wary that your date doesn't focus to much on your flaws. If they do then they probably aren't someone you want to go out with again.

Don't worry if there isn't a strong emotional connection right away. They take time to develop, especially if you want one that lasts. However, if you have similar senses of humor, think similarly, and make eye contact easily then you have the start of a good emotional connection.

When the night is over you want to leave the other person wanting more. This is truly the key to getting the second date. If you ask them or they ask you then you succeeded in leaving them wanting more.

Don't fake an excuse to leave or you'll seem uninterested. Rather, set a time limit at the start of the date (an hour or so is good) and stick to it. Unless it's going really well. Then you can have the second date in the morning.

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