Sections

Syndicate

Little Red Riding Hood Meets The Big Bad Wolf On A Dating Site

| Print |

E-mail

Written by Dr. Arlene Krieger, PHD

Thursday, 08 May 2008

The big bad wolf slyly put his arm around Little Red Riding Hood's shoulders and handed her a spot of tea and romantically said, "I'm not a fair-weathered friend".

by Dr.ArleneKrieger,PHD

The big bad wolf slyly put his arm around Little Red Riding Hood's shoulders and handed her a spot of tea and romantically said, "I'm not a fair-weathered friend".

Brooke was shocked and repulsed by her own naivety for falling for her latest suitor's seemingly scripted lines. She was educated, worldly, and attractive, and had been in her forties for more than a few years.

She entered my office for therapy distraught over her bad luck with dating men in her region This was not the first female patient that had expressed her disdain for the games that men play in the game of dating sites which seem to only showcase the "success stories".

I try to focus on women's perspectives on these issues not only of dating, but the new-age processes of Internet dating, sex and love. I am not so sure that the problem is specific to any specific city (many of those interviewed for this article live nation wide). It seems that in our 21st century world of dating, these issues of the search for ultimate love, lust, and romance with the perfect partner run rampant and seem to have that could be a block away or across the globe.

First and foremost, women are complaining about several major repeated patterns of behavior seen in many of the men they have met. Listed below are the major offenders as stated by many of the women interviewed for purposes of this topic, dating, sex and intimacy.

Here are a few things *not* to do when courting a potential soul-mate:

1. The man has chronic predictable ADHD. He loves dating you, almost as much as he loves being back on the dating sites seducing other gullible women.

2. Women are not the only ones who lie about their ages. That is a big mistake. A fifty year old man, can put a younger picture up, but in real life, he is still fifty, while the picture he put up may be when he was 30.

3. "if they don't have ex-girlfriends...they are still married or "separated" and expect you to put up with listening to them talk about their ex's.

4. "Some men can't even follow through. They take you on a date, tell you how crazy they are about you, and then don't call back for a week, while having "business lunches" with other women.... all the while having made a date with you for this Friday. All the while he is telling you he is totally committed to you. Huh?

As a single woman myself, I have kissed a pond-ful of frogs. The key question here is.....WHY DO PEOPLE FAIL OUR EXPECTATIONS OF THEM???? And that is exactly what they do, because we set ourselves up for these disappointments!!!!!! People are people are people......thats right....we are humans with human frailties. We all err at times and fail ourselves and others.

I believe that in this twenty-first century of "internet dating"......we as women have to be, ...and by the way.........this is not an if, or a maybe, but absolutely a mandate that we "MUST BE" vigilant in our survival instincts!!!!!!! In other words....you must be discerning in your choices that you make.

Here's another approach...would you scatter your finances away to friendly strangers on the street, or give away your most valued possessions to just any old person that passed your way? Of course not!!!!!!! Then I ask, why are we as women...so often giving away our most precious belonging....our essence and soul energy. Thats right.....your essence.....that which makes up the core of who you know yourself to be, including your energy, physical life force, sense of self, self-esteem, and your loving heart, all of great value not just to you but to any two-way giving supportive relationship.

If the local men are acting like "he who dies with the most toys wins"...living their second childhoods all over again, why must we be susceptible to their fragile egos and acting out teenage acting-out?

The question that is posed to me daily regarding how to find the "perfect partner" is often raised, the answer lies in loving and respecting yourself-first. On the subject of sex, love and your body, you can never truly give to another, what you have not accepted for yourself. If you don't have love for yourself, there is no real love to emit.

Grabbing onto and keeping this type of self-awareness means that, 'you are aware of what the boundaries and pitfalls of internet dating entails'. You're give physical, energetic, emotional, mental, soul-level, and spiritual aspects of your being, while maneuvering through this cyber-space world of the dating and mating process. Why not guard against the dangerous curves in the icy highways of relationships?

In the final analysis, you are responsible for taking responsibility for your own safety and growth. So even if the big bad wolf.....slips you that slippery and rancid cup of tea, it is up to you to decide if you want to go down that path! As they say...."IF YOU DON'T STAND FOR SOMETHING....YOU'LL FALL FOR ANYTHING....little Red Riding Hood

About the Author:

America's 2nd Favorite Sexologist, Dr. Arlene Krieger, PHD practices In Boca Raton, Fl. She works with individuals and couples, on Relationship, Intimacy and Sexual issues. She is a licensed mental health counselor, marriage & family counselor, and clinical sexologist offering phone & office appts