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Online Dating Ads - How to Talk to Women (or Men) to Get Results!

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Written by Jay Reiss, M.S.W.

Sunday, 13 July 2008

by JayReiss,M.S.W.

I'm an Online Dating Coach, and many of the ads I see on the Internet are shocking! There are some (often written by guys looking for women) who write their ads like they're trying to sell used furniture in the classified section of their daily papers! The women's ads are often just as bad - often containing very little substantial information - or the ads just come across as demanding.

Here's one example. This ad was submitted by a woman in her early 40's -

professional who enjoys open conversation - 41

"I love to talk about books that have struck you bizarre or interesting. I do want someone to hang out with, and must enjoy talking about politics, books, places and wine. Must love chocolate!"

Communication is apparently high up on this woman's priority list (how nice!) Whether "talking about everything" is also nice would depend, I suppose, on what "everything" might include. It's hard to say what she's referring to when she talks about "bizarre" books, although Stephen King novels come to mind for me. I'm not sure how many guys love chocolate, but for the sake of maintaining positive relationships, I imagine a lot of guys would go along with that one - assuming, of course, that "bizarre" books don't stand in the way first!

It's hard to imagine what sort of guy she'll attract with that ad!

Or check out this Internet Dating ad from a 29-year-old man who calls himself the Tattoo Teddy Bear:

tattoo teddy bear - 29

"i just want a good girl that knows how to treat a man with respect."

Now that was an example of an Internet dating ad that doesn't mince words!

After reading ads like this, I can really understand why so many men and women are communicating at cross-purposes!

Which brings me to our first lesson of today: Always write your Online Dating ads like you're having a normal conversation with someone!

Or to express things in terms of what NOT to do:

1. Never write an online dating ad like you'd write an advertisement for a newspaper.

2. Don't talk in a condescending manner. Be polite and treat everyone like your equal!

3. Never write a short (one or two sentence) ad. You just can't say enough in a short ad to really "sell" yourself properly!

Follow these guidelines instead:

1. In your online dating ads, talk about yourself in such a way as to create an image of yourself as a real person in the mind of your reader. You might want to include some of your personal interests and hobbies - and what you enjoy doing on a date.

2. Using colorful, imaginative language, and paint a picture of how she or he will feel when you're together on a date. Use examples, anticipate questions, and be upbeat and optimistic. Give your reader a sense of what being with you is like - and describe that in some detail when writing your dating ad.

3. What are some of your best personality characteristics? What are some of the things that people really appreciate about you? Here's the place to really sell yourself by listing your intangible qualities.

4. What are some of the reasons (i.e., the benefits) for answering your ad today? What will she or he gain by doing so?

5. Don't forget to spell-check your ad before you submit it!

By creating an honest and empathic dialog with your reader when writing your online personal ads, you'll be way ahead of most of your competitors for the attention of the women - or men - you'd like to hear from the most!

About the Author:

Would you like to meet beautiful women online today? Or handsome men? Take advantage of this very Special Opportunity: Get three FREE online personal ads and a FREE Online Dating Profile! Visit my Online Dating site today at http://www.online-dating-coach.com

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