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Online Personal Ads - How to Talk to Women |
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Written by Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
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Friday, 11 July 2008 |
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As an Internet Dating Coach, I regularly review Online Personal Ads to see how men and women are promoting themselves. Often the ads are written so poorly, that it's no wonder why many people fail to attract the types of partners they're asking for. Men often write in a matter-of-fact manner - which is absolutely not the way to communicate with women! And the women's ads often come across as demanding - producing poor results - which ends up reinforcing their views that "all of the good men are taken."
by JayReiss,M.S.W.
As an Internet Dating Coach, I regularly review Online Personal Ads to see how men and women are promoting themselves. Often the ads are written so poorly, that it's no wonder why many people fail to attract the types of partners they're asking for. Men often write in a matter-of-fact manner - which is absolutely not the way to communicate with women! And the women's ads often come across as demanding - producing poor results - which ends up reinforcing their views that "all of the good men are taken."
Here's one example. This ad was submitted by a woman in her early 40's -
professional who enjoys open conversation - 41
"I love to talk about books that have struck you bizarre or interesting. I do want someone to hang out with, and must enjoy talking about politics, books, places and wine. Must love chocolate!"
Communication is apparently high up on this woman's priority list (how nice!) Whether "talking about everything" is also nice would depend, I suppose, on what "everything" might include. It's hard to say what she's referring to when she talks about "bizarre" books, although Stephen King novels come to mind for me. I'm not sure how many guys love chocolate, but for the sake of maintaining positive relationships, I imagine a lot of guys would go along with that one - assuming, of course, that "bizarre" books don't stand in the way first!
It would be interesting to see which types of guys reply to this ad!
Or check out this Internet Dating ad from a 29-year-old man who calls himself the Tattoo Teddy Bear:
tattoo teddy bear - 29
"i just want a good girl that knows how to treat a man with respect."
This online dating ad gets right to the point, doesn't it.
So is it any wonder that so many single men and women are just like "two ships passing in the night?"
One of the most important concepts I'd like to convey is this: When you sit down to write your Online Dating Ads, always write them just like you're having a regular conversation!
In other words, here's what NOT to do:
1. Never write an online dating ad like you'd write an advertisement for a newspaper.
2. Never condescend to your audience!
3. Don't write a one-sentence ad and expect to get many replies!
Follow these guidelines instead:
1. Mention some of your hobbies, interests, and what you enjoy doing on a date. Try to paint an accurate yet imaginative picture of yourself as a real person (and an interesting person at that!)
2. Tell the reader (without bragging) how he or she will feel when they're with you. Put yourself in the mind and soul of your reader, and empathize with them. What are they thinking - and what might they be feeling - while reading your ad?
3. Mention some of your best inner qualities to motivate your readers to respond to your ad!
4. What are some of the reasons (i.e., the benefits) for answering your ad today? What will she or he gain by doing so?
5. Finally - please remember to use a spell-checker on your ad before you click the "submit" button and have it published!
By following these tips and guidelines, you'll be on your way to a successful online dating campaign!
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