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Playing A Man Like A Fiddle

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Society - Dating

Written by James Beckett

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Some women think that it is hard to win a man's heart, yet others find it as easy as walking on a summers day. What is the difference between the two? One of them has mastered the subtle art of seduction, they know how to communicate with the guy subconsciously so that he responds to her without thinking that she is doing anything at all. These methods are not unethical or even devious, they are just genuine ways to communicate that will help you in every aspect of life.

by JamesBeckett

Women are up to ten times more receptive to body language than men, which is why some women become exasperated that the guy cannot take notice of her 'obvious' signals. But with some practice you can learn to use the kind of subtle signals that they do notice which can create a strong bond between you and get him to act just the way you want him to.

How you sit, where you sit, where you look and how you use your arms and your eyes can make the difference between a date that is awkward and going poorly to a date where that "magic" seems to become like electricity in the air. Watch others as they talk to each other. You can tell when a woman is closed off from a man. She sits slumped back, her arms crossed and head tilted down. Any posture that looks like you are blocking the man from knowing you is sending a hostile message to the guy.

You can create a sense of trust and openness by leaning forward and looking at him with bright eyes and a slight smile on your face as he talks. If your body language says "I am thinking about nothing else except you", he will hear that message loud and clear. Another trick is if you are sitting across the table from him, are your hands under the table or on the table extended toward his side? Hands are a powerful means of communication and if yours are reaching out, that communicates he should come to you for friendship and love. Then if you turn the palms upward, the message of openness and acceptance is even more powerful.

As the night progresses then take every opportunity to accidentally touch him. Whether you grab hold of him to steady yourself, touch his hand as he gives you a drink or anything you can think of that does not give away that you are doing it on purpose. This gives a sense of intimacy and lowers barriers between you both. Also you can whisper in his ear, this is an incredibly intimate thing to do, yet when you are talking about something to do with the couple behind you etc then it also looks perfectly innocent. He will not be able to resist you after that!

You can also try something a little trickier, matching your body language to his. When we are in agreement with somebody, or we like or respect them, then we will subconsciously adjust out body language to match theirs. This makes the other person subconsciously feel more at ease and feel a connection with you. Make sure you do this subtly though so it doesn't look like you are copying him, wait for a while after he moves until you move into that position also, and don't copy everything, if he crosses his arms it could be a sign you said something wrong and if you cross your arms as well he will think you are closing up to him and then the date may go sour!

Echoing is using the same method in how you speak. Listen to his expression, his accent and the way he constructs his sentences. Then over the course of the evening, in tiny ways, start to use his speech patterns when you speak to him. If you are using his catch phrases, his style of speaking and even a soft version of his accent, that creates a virtual "family" feel in your friendship that opens the door for romance naturally and subconsciously.

These little tips can be devastatingly effective and really get that guy to open up to you so you get to know the real person inside. You can then decide if he is right for you or not and if he is then you know exactly what to do now and at any other stage in your relationship to get him to open up to you and appreciate you, which is an invaluable skill, just make sure he never knows you are doing it on purpose!

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Check out this video if you are looking for creative dating ideas.

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