Advertising

Useful Mindsets for Disarming Male Competition-I

| Print |

E-mail

Written by Vin DiCarlo

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

by VinDiCarlo

Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you saw a group of girls with one or two guys with them and you ASSUMED the guys were cooler than you so you avoided approaching because you feared embarrassment.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They think that the woman is "with" the guy, and assume he's her boyfriend.

This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being, not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses.

You will extremely look confident if you approach more often a woman who is "with" a guy and this can draw out the guy's jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.

The other reason guys don't approach women with other men points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.

Guys assumed that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be threatened by other men.

This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been fixed into human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

He doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

To assumed that the guy is a threat is the safest way to play. Because guys that are too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take them a single mistake that can end up their game.

And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to speak.

Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.

The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.

The thing is, when you are in the bar or club and you see a woman talking to another guy, you would think she's not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just remember that in time that they are together you should be alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and may start a confrontation.

So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false assumptions.

About the Author:

Get a FREE 45 minute masterclass on The Attraction Code. You can sign up here: Mystery Method and also receive the Attraction Code Letter delivered straight to your inbox.

Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.