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Steps to building a child's self-esteem

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Written by Abel Cheng

Wednesday, 09 July 2008

Self-esteem is the foundation of how a person acts, thinks and feels about the world and themselves.

by AbelCheng

Self-esteem is the foundation of how a person acts, thinks and feels about the world and themselves.

Self-esteem includes other qualities, such as self-confidence, pride, independence, self-reliance, and self-respect. Experts say we develop our self-esteem during childhood, and it constantly evolves as we are shaped by the different social interactions and experiences we go through.

Enhancing a child's self-esteem is the first step to ensuring his or her right to personal safety. Keeping children away from physical harm is only secondary.

A child's self-esteem is based on a positive relationship with parents and eventually teachers. Parents can foster that can-do attitude in their children with a "Wow!" or a "That's great!" every time they accomplish a feat.

However, positive comments are not the sole builders of self-esteem. Providing a warm, loving, and caring environment is just as important. Children who are shown a lot of affection can still suffer low self-esteem because they feel inadequate or unaccomplished. On the flip side, confident and joyful children can have low self-esteem if they are not loved. A child must experience a balance of both love and confidence to have high self-esteem.

Even though your child may misbehave, you can still bolster their self confidence and self-esteem by explaining to them that their behavior was unacceptable, but they are still loved and accepted. When you talk to your child, there are several things you can do to effectively communicate and boost positive self-esteem.

1. Give "Don'ts" as little as necessary Handing out too many negative remarks will leave a child feeling inadequate. Keep your responses as positive as possible.

2. Let kids complete their sentences. Avoid interruptions, as these disrupt their train of thought or make them forget what they're saying. Otherwise, they'll feel as if their ideas are insignificant and not worth listening to.

3. Establish eye contact. Be a good model of conversation by giving kids your full attention. This communicates that you are interested in what they are saying, and that you are stressing a noteworthy idea, as well.

4. Take turns in the conversation. Agree on who speaks first, and who speaks next. It is important for parents to encourage kids to verbalize their ideas and feelings, but to also wait for the go signal to speak. Children should be able to understand that if people talk all at the same time, they will end up understanding nothing.

5. Keep your cool. Make sure you wait to talk to your child when you are calm and relaxed. Speaking to a child when you are angry will only feed the flames of conflict.

6. Don't be afraid to discipline. If you child misbehaves, tell them in a simple way they understand that the behavior is unacceptable, and explain what behavior you expect.

About the Author:

The author: Abel Cheng is a father of two and a stay-at-home dad. Learn to be a better parent with his insightful parenting tips found on his parenting blog.

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